I’ve been your customer for 8 years. I estimate I’ve spent about $3,000 at Amazon. But, I have decided that I’m probably not going to buy anything from Amazon ever again. Frankly, I’m scared to death to be your customer.

Why? I’m scared you’ll fire me! The Internet has been buzzing lately with reports that you’re closing your customers’ accounts and banning them from Amazon for seemingly minor things – returning an item or two (even for legitimate reasons) or perhaps taking advantage of (what once was) your post-order price matching guarantee one too many times.

The fact that you’re throwing so many of your customers away makes me stop to think, “Do I really want to patronize a company that treats its customers like that?”

I’ll be honest with you…

• I’ve received packages from Amazon for items that were addressed to other people in other states. I tried to give the packages back to Amazon, but your customer service representatives acted like they didn’t want me to bother.
• I returned a $17 FM Transmitter earlier this year that didn’t work in exchange for a new one (that works great, by the way).
• I’ve complained that my prime packages were taking more than 2 days to arrive which your customer service representatives interpreted as me not receiving my packages at all. They resent me several items at no cost despite the fact my e-mails never said the items were lost.
• I’ve taken advantage of your former post-order price matching guarantee many, many times and saved a total of almost $150 for doing so.
• I’ve downloaded a number of free MP3s from Amazonmp3 by using Pepsi points.

Based on these facts, I fear that I’m on the top of the list for the next round of customers to kill. That scares me, mainly because I have about 20 videos I downloaded from Unbox (Family Guy, South Park and Bob & Margaret episodes) and a bunch of MP3s I downloaded from Amazonmp3. If you hose my account, I’ll probably lose access to those things. And, could you imagine if I had actually spent the money to buy a Kindle and you closed my account?! What a waste of money that would have been!

So, I guess I should quit while I’m ahead. The fact that you discontinued your ’30 Day Post-Order Price Matching Guarantee,’ made the decision a little bit easier. Earlier today, I set my Prime membership to not automatically renew in January.

Sprint PCS fired a bunch of dead beat customers earlier this year. Since then, they’ve been hemorrhaging good customers at a sickening pace. Makes you stop and wonder if they ever regret taking that action.

Sorry it had to end this way. I fear I’m just not the type of customer you’re looking for.

In case you’re interested, here’s my Amazon history.

I joined Amazon in 2000. I placed 1 order in 2000, 1 in 2001 and 2 in 2002. I didn’t order anything from Amazon in 2003, 2004 or 2005. In 2006, I joined Amazon Prime and placed 12 orders. In 2007, I placed 16 orders. And, so far in 2008, I’ve placed 52 orders.

Total Spent at Amazon : $3,565.51

• $3,341.36: Items sold by Amazon
• $21.43 : Amazon shipping charges
• $3.99 : Amazon gift wrapping charges
• $158.00 : Amazon Prime membership (2 years)
• $29.85 : Unbox videos
• $10.88 : MP3 downloads

Total Amazon Orders Placed : 71 (not including Unbox & MP3 orders)

• 69 : Successful orders (97%)
• 1 : Orders not received and replaced by Amazon (1.5%)
• 1 : Orders returned as defective and replaced by Amazon (1.5%)

I have taken advantage of the post-order price matching guarantee 36 times over 22 orders and have saved $186.85 by doing so, for an average of $5.19 each time.

Total Spent at Amazon Marketplace : $348.24

• $301.22 : Items sold by Marketplace sellers
• $47.02 : Seller shipping charges

 Total Amazon Marketplace Orders Placed : 13

• 10 : Successful orders (76.9%)
• 1 : Orders cancelled by seller because item went out of stock (7.7%)
• 2 : Orders cancelled by seller because of their price mistake (15.3%)

- Chris H.

PS : Congratulations on making the front page of the Consumerist! http://consumerist.com/5044959/amazon-closes-accounts-en-masse

PPS : Have you seen the you’re fired e-mail you sent your customers? How unprofessional can you get?

Hello from Amazon.com.

A careful review of your account indicates you’ve experienced an extraordinary number of incidents with your orders and corresponding shipments.

In the normal course of business, the occasional problem is inevitable. The rate at which such problems have occurred on your account is extraordinary, however, and cannot continue. Effective immediately, your Amazon.com account is closed and you are no longer able to shop in our store. I am very sorry for any disappointment this may cause.

Please know that any accounts related to yours have also been closed. If you were to open a new account, the same will result and it will also be closed. In the event that you attempt to do so, we will not accept the return of any additional orders, nor will we issue further refunds in connection with any future orders. We appreciate your cooperation in refraining from using our web site.

If you require additional assistance, or have any concerns, feel free to contact us directly at account-appeals@amazon.com.

Please do not contact regular Customer Service again, as they will no longer be able to assist you.

Regards,

Account Specialist
Amazon.com

Purchased 6/9/08 : Scoopfree Litter Box Hood : Price dropped $3.02 on 6/28/08.
Purchased 6/5/08 : Kill A Watt Electricity Usage Monitor : Price dropped $0.33 on 6/28/08.
Purchased 6/2/08 : Navigon Premium Leather Case : Price dropped $1.00 on 6/30/08.

Total money refunded due to Amazon’s price shenanigans : $121.46

Total money refunded due to Amazon’s price shenanigans : $108.55

Total money refunded due to Amazon’s price shenanigans : $107.78

Total money refunded due to Amazon’s price shenanigans : $106.98