CyberCJH’S Blog

I just e-mailed Amazon the following message explaining to them that I’m upset they’re closing people’s accounts so unprofessionally and arbitrarily and it’s making me think twice about placing orders on the website.

I have been reading on many websites that Amazon is closing hundreds (maybe thousands) of accounts because customers have contacted customer service too much, or have returned items or have taken advantage of the post-order price matching guarantee. I’ve only ever returned one defective item and got an even exchange for the same item. I also used to take advantage of your post-order price matching guarantee until you discontinued it. So, will my account be closed because of these things? I was going to buy a Kindle for myself this Christmas, but now I fear that it will be a wasteful purchase if Amazon closes my account, I will not be able to buy books to put on the Kindle. And, I’d lose access to my videos and music I downloaded. I’m afraid to place any orders! What is going on?!

Stay tuned for their response.

Update 9/4 10:30am Amazon responded with this e-mail …

Thank you for writing in with your question.

To protect your privacy, we only send account information to the e-mail address on file for a customer’s account, and we never comment on any other customer’s account or account activity. Also, Amazon.com does not comment about rumors or speculative news reports.

Thanks again for your interest in Amazon.com.

Please let us know if this e-mail resolved your question.

Best regards,
Jared
Amazon.com Customer Service

So, I replied back to say …

You didn’t answer the one question in my e-mail, but instead responded by saying you don’t comment on other people’s accounts or speculative news reports. Funny enough, I wasn’t asking you to do either of these things. I was looking for some sort of assurance that my account wasn’t the next one to be closed, which if you had actually took the time to read my e-mail, you’d of understood. I guess I should interpret your response as Amazon’s way of telling me to get lost. Understood. I won’t bother you anymore. I imagine that’s what you want, anyway.

written by cybercjh

Jeff,

I’ve been your customer for 8 years. I estimate I’ve spent about $3,000 at Amazon. But, I have decided that I’m probably not going to buy anything from Amazon ever again. Frankly, I’m scared to death to be your customer.

Why? I’m scared you’ll fire me! The Internet has been buzzing lately with reports that you’re closing your customers’ accounts and banning them from Amazon for seemingly minor things - returning an item or two (even for legitimate reasons) or perhaps taking advantage of (what once was) your post-order price matching guarantee one too many times.

The fact that you’re throwing so many of your customers away makes me stop to think, “Do I really want to patronize a company that treats its customers like that?”

I’ll be honest with you…

• I’ve received packages from Amazon for items that were addressed to other people in other states. I tried to give the packages back to Amazon, but your customer service representatives acted like they didn’t want me to bother.
• I returned a $17 FM Transmitter earlier this year that didn’t work in exchange for a new one (that works great, by the way).
• I’ve complained that my prime packages were taking more than 2 days to arrive which your customer service representatives interpreted as me not receiving my packages at all. They resent me several items at no cost despite the fact my e-mails never said the items were lost.
• I’ve taken advantage of your former post-order price matching guarantee many, many times and saved a total of almost $150 for doing so.
• I’ve downloaded a number of free MP3s from Amazonmp3 by using Pepsi points.

Based on these facts, I fear that I’m on the top of the list for the next round of customers to kill. That scares me, mainly because I have about 20 videos I downloaded from Unbox (Family Guy, South Park and Bob & Margaret episodes) and a bunch of MP3s I downloaded from Amazonmp3. If you hose my account, I’ll probably lose access to those things. And, could you imagine if I had actually spent the money to buy a Kindle and you closed my account?! What a waste of money that would have been!

So, I guess I should quit while I’m ahead. The fact that you discontinued your ‘30 Day Post-Order Price Matching Guarantee,’ made the decision a little bit easier. Earlier today, I set my Prime membership to not automatically renew in January.

Sprint PCS fired a bunch of dead beat customers earlier this year. Since then, they’ve been hemorrhaging good customers at a sickening pace. Makes you stop and wonder if they ever regret taking that action.

Sorry it had to end this way. I fear I’m just not the type of customer you’re looking for.

In case you’re interested, here’s my Amazon history.

I joined Amazon in 2000. I placed 1 order in 2000, 1 in 2001 and 2 in 2002. I didn’t order anything from Amazon in 2003, 2004 or 2005. In 2006, I joined Amazon Prime and placed 12 orders. In 2007, I placed 16 orders. And, so far in 2008, I’ve placed 52 orders.

Total Spent at Amazon : $3,565.51

• $3,341.36: Items sold by Amazon
• $21.43 : Amazon shipping charges
• $3.99 : Amazon gift wrapping charges
• $158.00 : Amazon Prime membership (2 years)
• $29.85 : Unbox videos
• $10.88 : MP3 downloads

Total Amazon Orders Placed : 71 (not including Unbox & MP3 orders)

• 69 : Successful orders (97%)
• 1 : Orders not received and replaced by Amazon (1.5%)
• 1 : Orders returned as defective and replaced by Amazon (1.5%)

I have taken advantage of the post-order price matching guarantee 36 times over 22 orders and have saved $186.85 by doing so, for an average of $5.19 each time.

Total Spent at Amazon Marketplace : $348.24

• $301.22 : Items sold by Marketplace sellers
• $47.02 : Seller shipping charges

 Total Amazon Marketplace Orders Placed : 13

• 10 : Successful orders (76.9%)
• 1 : Orders cancelled by seller because item went out of stock (7.7%)
• 2 : Orders cancelled by seller because of their price mistake (15.3%)

- Chris H.

PS : Congratulations on making the front page of the Consumerist! http://consumerist.com/5044959/amazon-closes-accounts-en-masse

PPS : Have you seen the you’re fired e-mail you sent your customers? How unprofessional can you get?

Hello from Amazon.com.

A careful review of your account indicates you’ve experienced an extraordinary number of incidents with your orders and corresponding shipments.

In the normal course of business, the occasional problem is inevitable. The rate at which such problems have occurred on your account is extraordinary, however, and cannot continue. Effective immediately, your Amazon.com account is closed and you are no longer able to shop in our store. I am very sorry for any disappointment this may cause.

Please know that any accounts related to yours have also been closed. If you were to open a new account, the same will result and it will also be closed. In the event that you attempt to do so, we will not accept the return of any additional orders, nor will we issue further refunds in connection with any future orders. We appreciate your cooperation in refraining from using our web site.

If you require additional assistance, or have any concerns, feel free to contact us directly at account-appeals@amazon.com.

Please do not contact regular Customer Service again, as they will no longer be able to assist you.

Regards,

Account Specialist
Amazon.com

written by cybercjh \\ tags: Amazon

Sadly, Amazon has announced (only to those who asked) that they’ve discontinued their post-order price matching guarantee.

What does this mean? Say you ordered something from Amazon today for $25. Two weeks from now, the price dropped to $20. If you noticed it and asked for a refund of the $5 difference, you’d get it. Not anymore.

While we don’t always beat the best available price on every product, we do offer deep discounts on many thousands of items and cannot offer discounts after your order is complete.

From time to time, prices on some items will change due to special offers from suppliers and manufacturers or our inventory and sales volumes. When we can offer a lower price for new purchases, we will.

You may have been able to take advantage of post-purchase discounts on orders you placed in the past, but that policy was discontinued on September 1, 2008.

The post-order price matching guarantee is one of the main reasons I shop at Amazon. Even though their prices fluctuate at an obscene frequency, sometimes changing several times each day on the same item (which I find extremely frustrating), I always knew I’d get the lowest selling price within 30 days after my purchase if I was vigilant. And, if you don’t think Amazon’s prices change that often, just click here (and then scroll down) to see at how many times I was able to get a refund due to a Amazon’s shenanigans.

Oh well, I guess I was subconsciously looking for a reason to not renew my Amazon Prime membership to stop myself from making impulse purchases while sitting at my desk at work, bored out of my gourd. All good things must come to an end.

Amazon would have probably eventually closed my account anyway for taking advantage of the post-order price matching guarantee too often. Amazon is closing accounts if they deem that particular customer unworthy of the Amazon experience. Take a look at this forum over at SlickDeals.

Maybe Wal-Mart could institute a policy like that. They already harass you for your receipt on the way out of the store. Maybe they could institute wallet inspections before you enter to make sure you’re not just going to browse and suck up all the air in the small appliances department.

written by cybercjh

In case you haven’t been keeping up with our plight, here’s a quick synopsis of what’s been going on.

• On 7/17, we order computer desks and other office furniture from Staples for our home office.
• On 7/24, FedEx delivers one of the computer desks, damaged.
• On 7/25, FedEx delivers the other computer desk, damaged.
  We call Staples to report the damage. They order two new desks.
• On 8/4, FedEx delivers two new computer desks, both damaged.
  We call Staples again to report the new damage. They order two new desks for us and tell us they will be sent via someone other than FedEx.
• And that brings us up to today (8/12)…
  I called Yellow Freight to see where our shipment is since their website says it will be delivered today. The very nice lady on the other end of the telephone tells me the shipment is considered lost because it did not arrive on the truck it was supposed to be on. They want to wait another day to see if it turns up.

We can put a man on the moon. We can fly airplanes across oceans. We can perform surgery on the tiniest parts of the body. We can even teach a computer how to play chess.

But, we can’t figure out where two lost computer desks are.

All you can do … is laugh.

• Update 8/13 9am Yellow Freight has officially declared our shipment as lost. They’re put a ‘tracer’ on the packages and has basically told us there’s nothing else they can really do.
• Update 8/14 9am Yellow Freight has found our shipment and delivery is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Fingers crossed. Let’s hope this third shipment isn’t damaged!

written by cybercjh

What was once a world class airlines continues its descent into something that is starting to resemble USAirways.

Yesterday, Delta announced that they were doubling the fee to check a second bag from $25 to $50. In some circumstances, I imagine that it will now cost as much to check a second bag as the airfare did. (Thanks to Jackie for the e-mail!)

Then today, Delta announced that they were retooling their SkyMiles reward structure. Their official announcement says:

Tiers will start at 25,000, 40,000 and 60,000 miles round-trip rather than the two current Award levels starting at 25,000 and 50,000 miles for travel within continental United States, Alaska and Canada.  Customers will have access to multiple Award Travel options including last- seat Award availability again and continue to be able to combine Economy, First and Business cabins, and dates at various mileage levels. 

Translated, the announcement effectively says they’re increasing the minimum number of miles for a free ticket from 25,000 to 40,000. Sure, they’re might be a few 25,000 mile seats available on a few flights, but they’ll be very few and very far between.

Sad to see such a respected airline pervert themselves into what they’re turning into.

written by cybercjh \\ tags: Delta

Pretty soon, when you check in online for your flight on Delta, United, USAirways, Continental or Northwest, you’ll be bombarded with ads.

The page that will display your boarding pass will be splashed with coupons, weather information and restaurant and event promotions for your destination. Delta is the first airline to implement this bulls*it. The rest of the airlines will be following soon.

As further evidence that the airlines are completely out of touch with reality, Continental said, “We are eager because we expect to make a nice profit while delighting customers.”

Hey Continental, you want to delight me? Get me there on time and don’t lose my luggage.

written by cybercjh

Wal-Mart is about to change one of the most familiar logos in corporate America.

Part of Wal-Mart’s continuing effort to update its image, the new logo for signs and building facades includes white letters on a burnt-orange background followed by a white starburst, according to an artist’s rendering that the company filed recently with planning officials in Memphis, Tenn.

Apparently, their new logo is an attempt to be more honest and forth-coming with their customers about their obscenely long lines at the registers.

written by cybercjh

Did you hear ExxonMobil is planning to sell its 2,220 gas stations because they’re, ‘not profitable enough.’ GMAFB. Anyway … whatever, because I don’t go to either Exxon or Mobil. Exxon because of Alaska (which is still working its way though the court systems, many many years later) and Mobil because they screwed my grandmother out of my grandfather’s pension. So, screw them both.

In other news, what the hell is up with gas stations charging different prices now depending on how you pay? I pull into the BP station today at the intersection of US-1 and SW Village Green Drive in PSL where the sign out front says $3.99/gal (cheapest around). I pull up to the pump and see this sign:

So, I figure the credit price is $3.99/gal and the cash price must be cheaper. Nope, the cash price was $3.99/gal and the credit price was $4.04/gal.

The government is going to really have to start stepping up their enforcement on these gas stations that post the lower, cash price on the signs but charger a higher, credit price at the pump. That’s not allowed. In fact, I think it’s illegal.

• Charging and posting one price but then charging extra to use a credit card at the pump = NOT ALLOWED.
• Charging and posting one price but offering a discount for cash = ALLOWED.

The station I stopped at should have posted $4.04/gal as their price, not $3.99/gal. I ended up getting gas there anyway since I get 5% cash back (soon to drop to 3%, the bastards) on my American Express card which brought the effective price down to $3.85/gal.

06/16/08 Update : Under Florida law, I have found that signs informing customers about the dual pricing don’t have to be visible from the road. Under state law, stations are required to post their prices for a particular method of payment so that they are ‘visible to prospective customers.’ So, posting cash prices so they can be seen from the road and then posting a higher price for credit purchases at the pump is legal in Florida.

In Other News : The buffoons who own the Chevron and Shell stations on Gatlin Blvd and the BP station on St. Lucie West Blvd in PSL all must think merchant agreements are for chumps. The Shell station charges 50¢ for credit card purchases < $5. The Chevron charges a $2 ‘ATM Fee’ if you opt to get cash back from a debit card purchase at the register. The BP station imposes a $5 minimum purchase to use your credit card. All these things are direct violations of their merchant agreements with Visa & MasterCard. As far as I know, American Express allows its merchants to require minimum purchase amounts.

written by cybercjh

We stopped at BJ’s Wholesale Club in Jensen Beach yesterday. Amongst the few things we purchased was a package of cookies. We used the self check out lane. When we scanned the cookies, they came up $6.99 even though the price sticker said $4.99. So, we called the self-checkout assistant over to help us. She had no idea what she was doing. Here’s where things went bad.

• She rescans the cookies and they come up as $6.99, just like we said. But, we had already scanned them. So now, we’ve been charged $6.99 twice.
• She voids her $6.99 scan.
• She price overrides the cookies to $4.99 and starts to walk away.
• We point out to her she only voided her $6.99 scan. Our $6.99 scan is still there.
• She shakes her head and calls the machine ’stupid.’
• She attempts to void the first $6.99 scan, but ends up voiding her $4.99 scan.
• She calls the machine ’stupid’ again.
• She scans the cookies at $6.99, again.
• She voids the third incorrect scan of $6.99.
• We point out that our $6.99 scan is still there. She still hasn’t voided it.
• She tries to price override the cookies to $4.99, but it’s not working because she’s not reading the screen. It says ‘enter price’ and she’s trying to scan the item. She ends up scanning the cookies for $6.99, for the forth time.
• At this point, I start telling her how to use the cash register. ‘Press Override. Scan the item. Enter the price. Place the item on the belt.’
• She says she, ‘hates’ the self check out lanes and she doesn’t understand ‘why management puts her in charge of such stupid machines.’
• She calls over her co-worker. The co-worker presses 4 buttons and in 15 seconds fixes everything.

So, our receipt looked like this. Remember, we only want to buy one package of cookies.

COOKIES              $6.99
COOKIES              $6.99
COOKIES *VOID*      -$6.99 
COOKIES              $4.99
COOKIES *VOID*      -$4.99
COOKIES              $6.99
COOKIES *VOID*      -$6.99
COOKIES *VOID*      -$6.99
COOKIES              $6.99
COOKIES *VOID*      -$6.99
COOKIES              $4.99

I wanted to say ‘Forget the dam*ed cookies’ and just walk out. Is it really that hard to train your employees on how to use the cash registers? Or, does BJ’s just not give a sh*t?

Oh, did I mention the 3 times when the register wanted her to place the cookies on the belt and she basically just threw them down the lane? I guess she didn’t care since she wasn’t buying them or eating them. She only works there.

And, not even so much as a smile or a trite apology. When all was said and done, she just walked away mumbling to herself.

Our membership expires in December. I doubt we’ll be renewing it. It seems stupid to me to pay a membership fee only to have to deal with employees like that.

written by cybercjh \\ tags: BJs

I love when I get hilarious responses to the e-mails I send. Especially when you can tell the person I sent it to didn’t even bother to read my e-mail before they respond. Check out this e-mail conversation I’m having with Melissa, a SquareTrade Care Specialist.

I’m thinking of buying a Whirlpool 17.7 Cu. Ft. Upright Freezer (Color: White) ENERGY STAR from Lowe’s. The price is $548. I tried to get a quote for a warranty from your website, but it seems Refrigerator is the only option. Could I buy this Refrigerator warranty for my Upright Freezer?

Melissa responds …

Thank you for contacting SquareTrade.

Please accept our apologies for the confusion regarding your item.

SquareTrade covers hundred of thousands of electronics items sold by eBay sellers. The process of correctly identifying items depends largely on each seller properly categorizing the items they are listing.  Rest assured, we are currently working to improve/refine this process.  We do apologize for the confusion.
Thank you,
Melissa
SquareTrade Care Specialist

So, I reply with …

OK. Now, maybe you could actually READ my e-mail and then respond with something INTELLIGENT? Who is talking about buying something from eBay? Certainly not me. I am asking about a freezer from Lowe’s. Please re-read my original e-mail, consult a dictionary or perhaps someone who speaks English for assistance and try to come up with some sort of coherent response. Thanks.

Let’s see what happens …

written by cybercjh